Ending sentences with ね - The ね effect

I look good, don't I? 

Perhaps you may have had many opportunities to converse in Japanese. You may also have noticed that conversational Japanese is quite differenct from grammar book Japanese. This is pretty much the case for most languages, but it's quite easily noticed in Japanese.

One thing you may always notice when speaking in Japanese is the ね at the end of a sentence.  

This may not always be used, but used quite frequently and more often than one thinks( I mean for native Japanese speakers). 

ね is quite powerful and can have a lot more impact than one thinks. 

It's flexible since it can be used in question formatting as well as replying formats; it carries the essence of casual agreement and persuation. It can also be used to ' just follow the rest ' in terms of keeping the atmosphere of the conversation in a stable and controlled state. In other words it's an escape to confrontation which could create problems and unwanted preconceived thoughts. 

There is a lot of culture involved as well. 

Now, it's always more difficult to explain than show, so I'll show you some examples: 

1.

Tom: これは小さい家ですね。

This is a small house, isn't it??

Now, the level of persuation can always differ, depending on people, the objectivity and the backgrounds they come from. 

Let's say that Tom was a rich dude looking for a summer cabin. He says this to a real-estate employee who has taken him to the cabin. The employee can't say it isn't even if he personally thought so. That's because he wouldn't want to create a negative impression which could lead to Tom dismissing the cabin and the agency. So the employee has to give this reply that shows that he is on the same level as Tom. 

So what does the employee say?

Employee:そうですね。

Yeah, quite right (you are). 

This ね is used to show agreement ( in this case it's more of an ' I'm on the same level with you ' ) so that it could benefit the employee and his agency. 

But then again, Tom may have only been using this as a tactic to reduce the price of the cabin in accordance to its size. Tom may want to point out that it's too expensive when one looks at the size. 

2.

Okay, now, let's change the scenario. Tom and Jenny are friends and they are cruising around the beach and find a house. 

Tom:  あれは大きな家だね。That's a big house, isn't it??

This ね in terms of persuation is not so strong. It's more like a casual ' you agree with me, right? ' kind of question. 

But then again, this could have some hidden meaning to it; Tom wants to see how responsive Jenny is, or whether she tends to agree with his ideas since he has a crush on her. 

Jenny might say そうだね even if she doesn't think so, and it could sort of be a white lie. 

Or, she might say, いや、そう思わないよ。　if she personally has a strong opinion about it

She might just use そうだね to just get by..... not breaking the atmosphere. 

3.

Alright, last scenario. 

Tom and Jenny are together with friends at a karaoke party. Someone shows a picture of a house on their smartphone and Tom responds by saying

Tom: とても独特な家だね。It's a very unique house, isn't it??

He gives a glance at Jenny. 

In terms of the situation, Jenny might be forced to say そうだね and just get along with things, to keep the atmosphere as it is. 

But who knows, maybe she sees it as an opportunity to disagree with Tom and give a personal reply. 

But it maybe more difficult to do that if other friends also start agreeing with Tom, saying そうだね

So,  the ね has a particularly strong effect. The collectivistic mentality of Japanese and the culture itself which puts more importance on 'groups' rather than 'individuals' creates a very unique and interesting phenomenon. 

This is not something that's always apparent. It can be felt as a subtle, yet persisting thing. I think creating many opportunities to spend time with Japanese natives can be an effective way to understanding the use of ね and the effects it can have.